(I know not everyone still watches the forum so I’ll put this on there and on the email list. If whoever sees this could let others know or print it off or something that would be great.)
So, I’m back in Edmonton now. I got here Friday evening (Saturday morning there) after two very painful days of standby flights and fumbling my way half way around the world. Spending the night alone on a bench, strapped to your bags, in a large foreign airport isn’t much fun. Anyway, I’m here now and I’m happier for it.
I realize few people there had any idea I was even considering leaving and I’m sorry for the way I just vanished that day. I really should have spent more time talking to people before I left but I was afraid of both the inevitable awkwardness of it and that if I spent too much time talking then I might begin to waiver on my decision again. This was an unusually bold step for me to take and I thought it best to keep my momentum. As for why I left, well there are a number of reasons really but one main one. I just wasn’t happy being away from my sons, Corbin and Colton, and they weren’t happy with me being away. I was already missing things like Corbin improving his ABC’s and Colton’s 2nd birthday and it was eating at me. For those of you who watch Survivor or other similar shows you know that there is frequently one person who whines and cries early on about how much they miss their kids and they’d rather be at home. I used to laugh at those people and wonder how they didn’t consider that when they signed up for the show. Well now I am one of them and I understand.
I should clearly point out here that I had absolutely no problems with the Cortona program itself, nor with the town, the school, or anyone connected with it be they student, staff, or whatever. There was no negative experience in Italy that turned me away from this program. It was all internal to myself.
I am disappointed with myself for how things turned out and also for all the places I had planned to see but won’t now. However, I honestly do not regret choosing to go there or to leave. I really feel like things have worked out for the best and, while I’m not entirely happy about all this, I do believe it was what was right for me. This surprises me since I half expected to get part way home and then think “What have I done?” but this hasn’t happened. As for all the trips I was supposed to be part of, I’m sincerely sorry for bailing out on you. I hope any room bookings I was in can be filled and that nobody has to change their plans because of me.
I m not a particularly social person. Frankly, I tend to stick to myself most of the time. This group was amazing though in the incredible speed with which we got to know each other and I would certainly count many of you among my friends. You are a remarkable group of people and I am honoured to have been a part of you. It is unfortunate that I am likely to lose touch with most of you now as I had really looked forward to coming out of this with some strong friendships. I just wanted to thank the group as a whole, including Helena, for being as great as you are and I hope you realize that you are part of something special. I made the mistake of waiting too long in my life before acting on my desire to travel and this greatly complicated things for me. Most of the students in this group (all of you, as far as I know) are not yet married or parents and I urge you to enjoy these sorts of adventures while you are still relatively free to do so as things get much more complicated once you “settle down”.
Anyway, I suppose that’s enough for now. I’ll likely check the forum from time to time and if anybody would like to email me that would be great. Also, I’d quite like to meet up with anyone who’d like to after you get back. Enjoy your time over there and don’t forget me too quickly,